Memories
by PrincessofDarkness11
Summary: HBP compliant. Harry finds the last horcrux and defeats Voldemort. However, when he returns to school, he's changed. What exactly happened to Harry that summer? And how will Severus ever hope to help him? Summary sucks, but story's good. Promise! R&R ALL
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't own it and no profit is being made from my attempt to keep Harry Potter alive in my heart in the cold, bleak, and numerous hours until the 7th and final installment in the series… sniff

A/N: This story is slightly AU, in that it does acknowledge the book… w/a dash of me tossed in. I guess you should just ignore me and read. You'll figure it all out,

A/N2!!!HBP SPOILER WARNING!

**Prologue**

XXXsnarryXXX

Harry Potter watched his clock, wand in hand, entire body braced for the battle he knew would begin in less than a minute. His things were already packed and setting at the foot of his bed. The digital numbers flashed midnight in the darkness and he was gone before the wards around the house could fail. He landed in a dimly lit room that smelled like dust and death. Looking around, he saw no furniture, but there was a short, pudgy man staring out of the window. _'Wormtail…'_ he spoke in Parsletongue.

"Master, you've retur-!" the man turned around and his eyes widened, "You!" He searched his robes, frantically.

"You don't have a wand anymore, do you?" Harry spat, "You gave it back to your _master_, remember?"

"Harry… dear, dear Harry…" Wormtail started, but Harry cut him off.

"Don't even start that!" he exclaimed, "I've been looking for you. If it hadn't been for the clues that Regulus Black left behind, I never would have realized it was you."

"What are you talking about?" Wormtail asked, his voice shaking.

"The horcruxes, Pettigrew! You were so eager to prove your loyalty that you offered to host part of Voldemort's own soul. I've destroyed all of the others," Harry said, watching the man's face suddenly lose all color and his mouth open and close silently, "That only leaves you. _Avada Kedavra!_" He pushed all of his hatred for the man into the curse, and then the betrayal, and the anger at himself for allowing him the chance to escape in the first place, and Peter Pettigrew fell to the floor- dead.

He turned to the smoldering hearth, tossing the pouch of green powder into it. He called for Grimmauld Place, yelled 'Riddle Graveyard' and ran out of the house. He emerged from the house and headed straight toward the cemetery where he knew Voldemort would be with his precious Death Eaters. He slowed as he neared, smirking slightly when every masked face turned to gaze at him. A couple people gasped, giving Harry exactly the kind of reaction he had hoped for.

"Ah, Harry," Voldemort said, "You got to Wormtail, then?"

Harry chuckled. "That's right. Now, there's nothing to save you from a real death. You're _mortal_, Tom."

"How dare you call me that- that filthy name! _Crucio_!"

Harry dodged the curse quickly. "Is that all you've got, Tom? I'm disappointed. You'd think with all that time you had to yourself you would have come up with some new tricks."

"I'll show you new tricks… Severus, come here," Voldemort said. The man stepped forward. "I'll bet you weren't expecting that you're dear Professor Snape was in league with me all along."

Harry smirked. "No, I knew. But I bet _you_ didn't expect that he'd been feeding information to Albus Dumbledore almost the entire time he'd been so 'loyally' serving you…"

Voldemort had the grace to look shocked. "This cannot be true… Severus, show this insolent boy where your true loyalties lie. Torture him until he begs me for death."

Severus turned to Harry, removed his mask, and sneered. He held his wand out at an arm's length, level with Harry's forehead. The boy didn't move, silently praying that he was right about the man. At the last moment, Severus turned to Lucius Malfoy and shot him square in the chest with a full-body bind, and Harry sighed in relief.

Voldemort screamed in anger, grabbing a handful of Severus' hair and shoving him to the ground. "I'll teach you to betray me! _Avada…_"

"_Stupefy_!" The curse barely missed Voldemort, but it was enough to distract him for a moment, allowing Severus to slip quickly from his clutches.

"You, too, Draco? I had such high hopes for you… no matter. You are still disposable, just like your mother… remember, boy?" Voldemort grimaced horribly.

"Bastard…" Draco growled.

Suddenly, there was a sound like firecrackers and Harry knew that his back-up had arrived. Soon after, the cemetery was a battlefield. Curses, spells, hexes, Unforgivables being shouted, whirling past him and Voldemort. Some hit their targets, others were dodged, only to hit the headstones of people long passed. Harry didn't think they would mind. It only added to the feeling that he and Voldemort were completely isolated from the rest of the fight- theirs was the war itself coming to its final culmination.

He hazarded a glance around him and saw that many had already fallen. Mainly Death Eaters, thankfully, but among the fallen he saw a patch of red hair and he had to turn away. Many of his peers had come to fight beside him. Most of whom had participated in the DA, but some who had graduated, like Oliver Wood, and others who had been recruited or had volunteered to fight alongside them. He was relieved to see that few of his friends had fallen, but he realized that with every passing second, that risk increased exponentially. He had to end this. Soon.

Voldemort cast the first hex, which Harry dodged again. It became a battle of, not only magical strength, but physical strength and agility as well. Fortunately, Harry was obviously superior in the physical aspect and he managed to dodge whatever was thrown at him. He heard a high scream and turned in time to see Ginny Weasley fall to the ground. Moments later, Bellatrix Lestrange was killed by Remus Lupin, who then fell to his knees and wept. It was otherworldly for Harry… he felt as though he was watching everything unfold in slow motion, almost like he wasn't even a part of it anymore.

In that moment of distraction, Voldemort managed to disarm Harry and the fighting ceased, all eyes on the pair. Voldemort cackled maniacally, holding Harry's wand in his hand.

"What will you do now?" he taunted, "Will you beg me to spare your life, just as your poor mudblood mother did? Or will you face your death quietly?"

Harry's expression hardened. "Neither…"

"_Avada…_"

Harry closed his eyes. _'He can't win… he can't! Avada Kedavra!'_ he thought. He pushed all of his emotions forward into the curse; his love, his fear, his hopes for the future, and especially his anger. He thought of everything Voldemort had done, the countless people who had died because of him… and the countless people who had died simply because they were associated with the Boy-Who-Lived. His parents. Cedric. Sirius. Dumbledore. Ginny. The people who had lost their lives because they thought they were fighting for the right cause or because they hadn't been strong enough to fight him. He thought of the life he'd been forced to live because of this madman… he thought of his uncle…

Harry Potter seemed to explode in a burst of power at the same time that Voldemort fired the killing curse. However, where the light from Voldemort's wand was green, the light that came from Harry was an almost blindingly bright blue. The two powers met and seemed to battle for a moment. Then, Harry screamed and the entire battlefield was immersed in the energy.

After they had blinked the spots from their eyes, what they saw made them erupt in raucous cheers while the few remaining Death Eaters apparated away. Harry Potter stood over a very obviously dead Voldemort. He turned and smiled at them before falling to the ground. The cheers ceased as each and every one of them rushed to Harry's side. Severus Snape kneeled next to the boy, checking pulse and breathing.

"He's alive," he said on a sigh.

"Not for long…" Lucius Malfoy said, raising his wand.

"_Avada Kedavra!_" Severus exclaimed and Lucius fell dead next to his Lord and Master, "We should get him to an infirmary immediately."

XXX

When Harry awoke, the first thing he realized was that he could see… without his glasses. He dismissed it as some magical anomaly and then he noticed the large amount of people spread about his room… which he then noticed was the sterile white of an infirmary. It wasn't Hogwarts, or else Poppy would already be smothering him, so it had to be St. Mungo's. He sat up, groaning when his back protested violently.

"Harry? Oh God!" Hermione exclaimed, rushing across the room to practically throw herself on him, "We thought you'd never wake up. The Healer here said you had fallen into a coma and she didn't know if the potion she gave you would have any effect… oh thank Merlin…"

"Hermione… ow…" he said pointedly, and she jumped away from him again.

"I'm sorry! I didn't stop to think… I'm just so relieved…" she sobbed. In her small breakdown, she woke the other occupants, who proceeded to crowd around him, asking various questions.

"Be quiet!" he shouted when it became too much, "I don't know what you're talking about! Voldemort's gone? Who beat him?"

Ron gave him a queer look. "You did, mate…"

"Oh… right… of course I did," he said, chuckling nervously, "Sorry... as to how… I don't really know."

"That doesn't matter! It was bloody spectacular!" Fred exclaimed.

"Absolutely brilliant! Well worth the wait," George added.

"Who- who did we lose?" he asked, dreading the answer.

"Surprisingly few…" Remus said, "Charlie Weasley, Viktor Krum, Colin Creevey, Alastor Moody, Justin Finch-Fletchley, Cho Chang, Percy Weasley, Lee Jordan, Samantha Jenkins, Ginny Weasley, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Luna Lovegood…" The list continued to include a few centaurs and other aurors who had not been in the Order, but Harry had lain back against his pillows, shutting out all thought. That was too many… too many friends… all dead. Because of him. He slipped into unconsciousness once more, wishing he would never have to wake up again.

XXXsnarryXXX

Wow… I'm rather pleased with this… as far as Prologues can please a person, anyway. I hope you haven't given up yet, because I PROMISE it's going to get much better! This was just to sort out my thoughts. I actually started writing this story from about chapter 3 or 4, but I decided to add some more to bring more PLOT into the picture. I love plot… and conflict… you'll come to realize this, I promise. À bientôt.


	2. Chapter One

Disclaimer: I don't own it… 'nuff said.

A/N: Just in case you missed it in the Prologue, this story _is_ HBP compliant, but since a lot of things are left open at the end of that book, I've filled in the holes with my own theories. They have no real basis in fact, they are merely what I think (or hope) will happen. !HBP SPOILER WARNING!

**Chapter One**

XXXsnarryXXX

"It feels good to be back. It'll be nice to have a year at school when we won't have to worry about Voldemort, won't it?" Hermione said. Harry remained silent, staring into the space just above her head. "Harry? _Harry_. Harry!"

"Hmm…? Oh, yeah, great," he said absently.

"Were you listening to anything I just said?" she asked huffily.

"Sure," Harry said.

"Really? Then, what did I say?" she snapped.

"Erm… I don't know…" Harry replied, looking down at his plate of food. He hadn't eaten anything, but he felt that he'd pushed it around enough so that it _looked_ as if he had. He excused himself and walked out of the great hall without waiting for an acknowledgement.

Ron stared after him. "What do you think is wrong with him?"

Hermione sighed. "I have no idea."

"It's not like he's got much to worry about, with You-Know-Who finally gone," Ron said, "I mean, we've got NEWTs this year, but… I don't know. He's never been this upset about marks before."

"Maybe we should talk to him," Hermione said.

"That's not a good idea," Neville stated.

"And why is that?" Ron said.

"Because… do you really think he'll tell you the truth? He won't ask for your help, and if you offered, he wouldn't accept it," Neville replied, "You'll only push him farther away if he thinks you feel sorry for him."

Ron scoffed, but it was in annoyance that Neville seemed to know more about _his_ best friend than he did.

"Harry and me… we're sort of kindred spirits," Neville said, grinning, "I think I'm going to head up. See you guys around." He walked away, leaving Ron gaping.

"What do you think he meant by that?" Hermione said.

Ron shrugged. "Who knows?"

"I think he's right, Ron," Hermione stated, "We should just leave it alone for now. Maybe he just needs some time for the realization to sink in that it's all over."

"Maybe…"

XXXsnarryXXX

Ever-so-short, yes, and the next one is just as short. Sorry! After the first two chapters, though, they start to get longer, I promise. Until next time… Ciao!


	3. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: I don't own it… 'nuff said.

A/N: Just in case you missed it in the Prologue, this story _is_ HBP compliant, but since a lot of things are left open at the end of that book, I've filled in the holes with my own theories. They have no real basis in fact, they are merely what I think (or hope) will happen. !HBP SPOILER WARNING!

**Chapter Two**

XXXsnarryXXX

Three weeks later and Harry was back to his normal self. Or… what other people had always considered "normal" Harry, which wasn't entirely accurate. He joked around with his friends, laughed and smiled frequently, and managed to pull off good marks even with his bad habit of waiting to the last minute to do anything. However, a few people noticed small differences from "normal" Harry behavior.

"Harry!" Neville called after Harry as he crossed the grounds to the lake with Hermione and Ron.

"Hey Neville," Harry greeted cheerily, "What's up?"

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Neville asked, "Alone?"

"Sure," he said, turning to Ron and Hermione, "I'll just be a minute. Go on without me."

They shrugged and walked away, hand-in-hand. Harry still thought that they should have hooked up years ago, but every time he said anything, they would just blush and change the subject.

"So, what did you want?" Harry asked.

Neville pulled him out of the way of the traffic coming and going from the school, well out of earshot before he spoke. "I know what you've been doing every night."

Harry's eyes widened almost imperceptibly. In fact, if Neville hadn't been looking for any type of reaction, he would have missed it. Nevertheless, Harry grinned and forced a laugh. "What are you talking about, Neville?"

"You think everybody's asleep, but I'm almost always up reading," Neville said, "I've seen you taking a vial of potion three nights a week since we got back."

Harry sighed, his face falling into an expression of incredible weariness. "What do you want?"

"I want to know what you've been taking," Neville said.

"I can't say," Harry replied, "There would be too many questions and I can't answer them right now."

"Can you at least tell me if it's dangerous?" Neville asked.

Harry almost smiled. Almost. "No, it's not. I bought it at the apothecary in Diagon Alley."

Neville grinned in relief. "Good. I was starting to worry."

Harry chuckled. "So… why didn't I ever see your light on?"

"I snuck into Knockturn Alley a while back and bought a candle that only gives light to the holder," Neville said, smirking.

Harry raised an eyebrow at him. "You've got a dark side, eh? It's always the quiet ones…"

Neville laughed. "Anyway… just promise that, if you ever decide you want to talk about it, you'll come and talk to me."

Harry nodded slowly, slightly surprised at Neville's sudden show of concern. "Yeah, I promise."

"Good. You should probably get back to Hermione and Ron before they have a conniption fit thinking you've deserted them," Neville said.

"Do you want to hang out with us?" Harry asked.

"No, I've- er… got other plans," Neville said, blushing.

"Right… hey, Neville?" Harry said, as he turned to leave.

"Yeah?"

"Promise you'll tell me all about it someday, too, alright?" Harry said, smiling.

Neville grinned. "Sure."

xxx

Harry woke up on October 21st to a beautiful Saturday morning… and he felt like shit. He honestly wanted to crawl into a hole and die. His stomach hurt, his head hurt, and he was sweating profusely. However, he knew it had nothing to do with any type of physical illness. It was all in his head. He'd been dreaming again… horrible dreams of pain and humiliation and then death and screaming and then a feeling like what he imagined being struck by lightning would feel like. The dream had been alarming, to say the least… but that was all it had been: a dream.

He dressed at a sluggish pace, taking his time, relishing the fact that it was a Hogsmeade weekend. And he was allowed to go, now that Voldemort was dead. He was still watched because of the Death Eaters that had escaped, but it was no longer by a guard of six or seven Aurors. There would simply be one teacher there to "chaperone", who would happen to keep a close eye on Harry without being too intrusive. It was rather refreshing, in Harry's opinion.

He skipped breakfast, knowing that Hermione and Ron would ask him about it later. He walked out onto the grounds and instantly regretted it. There, leaning against what he had always considered "his" tree, was Draco Malfoy, talking animatedly to Blaise Zabini. He'd heard that Draco had killed Crabbe and Goyle in the final battle, and so he had taken to hanging out with Blaise instead. He sighed, deciding not to let them ruin what had otherwise been a good beginning to the day, and approached. As he neared, he caught part of what they were saying.

"Are you sure it's wise to continue seeing him?" Blaise was saying, "The war may be over Draco, but there is still a lot of hostility between Slytherin and Gryffindor."

"Would you shut up already? I told you that I wasn't going to stop seeing him just because our stupid housemates refuse to evolve past their ancient beliefs," Draco snapped, "Besides, I promised him that I wouldn't let something that _stupid_ come between us."

Blaise sighed. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm kind of glad that you're saying all of this. It's good to know that you're finally serious about somebody, Dray."

"Yeah, well… you know how those Gryffindors are," Draco said, grinning, "They're so bloody…"

"Cuddly?" Blaise offered.

Draco opened his mouth to reply, but Harry snickered, interrupting their conversation. They turned to look at him, eyebrows raised. He smothered his laughter. "Sorry…" he said, turning.

"No, we were just leaving," Draco said, walking away with Blaise, who was smiling at Harry.

He looked after them in confusion, wondering who Draco could be seeing. He shrugged, sitting down under the tree and waiting for the inevitable arrival of Ron and Hermione to drag him off on some juvenile excursion to obtain dungbombs or Bertie Bott's… which, oddly, always seemed to cheer him up slightly…

XXXsnarryXXX

So, this one was just slightly longer than the last, but, as I said before, the next chapter should be significantly extended. See you in the next chapter (if you're not already fed up with me!)(,) Ciao!


	4. Chapter Three

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, nor am I making any profit from this story.

A/N: The actual Harry/Sev plot begins in this chapter… so I hope you like it!

**Chapter Three**

XXXsnarryXXX

"Minerva…" Severus said warningly, "I am going to find out exactly who has been stealing from my private stores. No matter _what_ it takes."

"I understand," she replied, "But as Headmistress, I must forbid and methods that would harm the students."

Severus sighed. "I know that already… I'm not completely heartless."

She grinned. "Of course… do what you must."

Severus nodded and swept from the room.

xxx

Harry sat down at the Gryffindor table and Hermione automatically placed a huge plate of food in front of him, which he slowly began to eat. He was silent throughout most of dinner, content to just listen and observe his friends, nodding at appropriate intervals or giving concise, usually single-word answers to questions directed at him, and smiling when something that was considered amusing was said.

"Hey… what's today?" he asked suddenly.

"It's Friday, October 27th," Ron said, "Why?"

"I just couldn't remember, that's all," Harry replied.

"You okay, mate?" Seamus asked, "You don't usually forget about Fridays…"

"I'm fine," he said, turning back to his food.

"Are you _sure_ you're okay, Harry?" Hermione asked- for the tenth time, "You've been kind of out of it since you had it out with Voldemort."

Harry rolled his eyes. "I'm sure… Jeez, 'Mione, you've got one hell of a mother hen instinct. You'll make a great Weasley some day."

She blushed and fell silent, looking anywhere but at Ron, who was positively beaming.

He looked back at his half-eaten plate of food. He'd gotten back into the habit of actually eating at meals, but he still couldn't handle very much at one sitting. He picked up his apple cider, sipping noncommittally and listening to the buzz of conversation. He wasn't aware of the obsidian eyes that watched him intently every time he picked up his glass.

He stood up, oddly chilly, and politely excused himself. He didn't want to up to the Common Room, so he wandered through the familiar hallways, lost in thought. He was _so_ lost in thought, in fact, that he didn't see the people in front of him until he ran straight into them. He lost his balance and fell, landing hard on the stone floor.

"Watch where you're going!" Draco Malfoy sneered.

"Sorry…" Harry said, standing, "I didn't see you."

Draco gaped in shock. Did Harry Potter just apologize to him? He shook his head. "You _should_ be sorry."

"I know… that's why I said it. It was my fault," Harry said, feeling the words slip out of his mouth even as he thought about snapping back at him. _'What is wrong with me?'_

"What's wrong with you, Potter?" Draco asked, his voice losing its edge.

"I- don't know…" he said.

"What were you thinking about to make you spaced out enough to not see somebody right in front of you?" Blaise asked.

"A lot of things," Harry replied.

"Like…?" Blaise urged.

"My friends, Dumbledore, summer, Voldemort," he said, and they flinched at the name, "Snape." _'Oh bloody hell! Why did I say _that_?'_

"Really?" Draco said smirking, "Aren't you in a chatty mood? And I thought you didn't want to be friends."

"I never said that. I said I could choose my own friends," Harry said, "Maybe if you hadn't acted like such a snobby little prick, I would've taken you up on your offer."

Blaise laughed. "It's true, Dray. You were a little stuck-up."

"Shut up!" Draco snapped, "At least I changed. You, however, are still annoying."

Harry chuckled, surprising all three of them.

"The offer still stands, you know," Draco said, regarding him coolly.

"Really? Alright then…" he said. _'Right. Now I'm friends with Malfoy. Nice.'_

"So… you were thinking about Sev?" Draco said, beginning to walk with Blaise and Harry falling into step beside him, "What, do you fancy him or something?"

"Yes," Harry said automatically, "Shit!" _'Where did that come from? Sure, he's a good-looking bloke, and he's brave and smart and he saved my life and he has the sexiest voice I've ever heard, but… okay, maybe just a wee bit of a fancy.'_ He blushed.

Draco stared at him in open-mouthed shock. "I can't believe it. Harry Potter's a poof!"

"Well, what about you? I heard you and Blaise talking the other day about the guy you're seeing who's a Gryffindor," Harry said.

Draco glared at him. "You heard that? Who have you told?"

"Nobody! I swear! So… who is it?" Harry asked.

"Can't say. He wants to tell you himself," Draco said.

Harry shrugged.

"You like older guys, then, eh Harry?" Blaise said, "Severus Snape, huh? You've got good taste."

"He's okay…" Draco said, "He's my Godfather, so I've never really looked at him like that."

"So, what do you like the most about him?" Blaise asked.

"His voice," Harry said, cursing himself silently.

"Oh yeah… I'm with you there," Blaise said, "That man's voice is like- I don't think a word exists that can describe it."

"Every time I hear his voice I think of chocolate," Harry said, grinning.

"Ohh, that's good!" Blaise exclaimed, "It'd have to be dark chocolate, though."

Draco was pretending not to hear anything.

"Yeah… all strong and rich and smooth…" Harry said, beginning to enjoy speaking so freely.

Draco, however, couldn't take anymore. He rounded on Harry, clamping a hand over his mouth. "I don't want to hear this. If you want to talk about my Godfather like that, go do it somewhere else!"

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Malfoy. I see you are up to your usual squabbling," Severus Snape strode over to them, "Perhaps detention would be suitable, though I doubt it will serve as a deterrent for this behavior."

"Professor, we were just talking," Blaise said.

"Mr. Zabini, I ask that you keep your lies to yourself," he snapped, "Come with me, Potter, you will serve your detention now."

"But sir…" Harry started, but was cut off by a sharp glare. He sighed in defeat, following Severus down the corridor. "See you guys later, I guess."

"See ya!" Blaise called.

"Bye, Harry," Draco said, "Have fun!"

They walked in silence for a few moments before something struck Severus. "Why did Draco address you by your first name?"

"I guess it's because we're- friends, now," Harry replied.

"_When_ did you become 'friends'?" he drawled.

"About twenty minutes ago," Harry said.

"Hmm…" he said, "What brought about this sudden change?"

"I told the truth," Harry said shrugging, "I can't seem to stop telling the absolute truth…"

Something that Severus had said in his fourth year came to Harry's mind… 'my hand may just- slip- over your morning pumpkin juice…' He gasped, realizing _why_ he was being so truthful and what the chilly feeling he'd had since dinner meant. "Professor, you didn't…"

In answer he pulled a small vial of a clear potion out of his robes. He smirked. "I warned you about stealing from me…"

"But, sir, I didn't steal anything from you this year!" he said, mentally slapping himself as he entered the potions classroom.

Severus sat down at his desk, leaving Harry to stand in front of it. "So, you've stolen from me _before_, then?"

"Yes…" Harry said.

"When?" he asked.

"Second year," Harry replied.

"Is that all?"

"Yes, sir," Harry said.

"What did you take?" he asked.

"Boomslang skin and lacewing flies," Harry replied, "To brew the Polyjuice Potion."

"You brewed Polyjuice in your 2nd year?" Severus said.

"Yeah, with Ron and Hermione."

"Did it work?"

"Well, yeah… except- Hermione accidentally got a cat hair, so she ended up in the infirmary," Harry said, grinning at the memory.

"I'm impressed, Mr. Potter," he said, "That is a NEWT level potion."

"Do I still have to serve detention?" Harry asked.

"Improper conduct in the hallways _is_ a reason for detention, hostile or otherwise," Severus said.

"Why do you hate me?" Harry asked before he could stop himself.

Severus narrowed his eyes. "Why do you _think_ I hate you?"

"Because you think I'm my father," Harry spat bitterly, "Because you think I'm an arrogant, attention-seeking, spoiled child."

"Aren't you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically.

"No! I'm nothing like my father! I may look like him and I may have his talent for Quidditch, but _I_ would never intentionally humiliate someone just for sport! Not even if they deserved it!" Harry exclaimed vehemently, hearing the words that he had longed to say for years begin pouring from his mouth, "And furthermore, I'm not arrogant! Hell, I'm not even _mildly confident_. Even though he's gone, I'm still afraid I'm going to mess up somehow and let everybody down. Even though he's gone, I'm still watched like a bloody sideshow! I hate it! I hate this attention! Do you honestly think it's fun to have reporters dog your every step, constantly writing articles about how you're either following in the Dark Lord's footsteps or the savior of the damned world? I'm sick of being treated specially, placed on a fucking pedestal, and put on display like some historical monument just because I fulfilled my so-called destiny and got rid of a homicidal megalomaniac with a God complex! As if the way they treated me would have made a difference… of course, I had to try. In fact, one of the reasons I like you so much is because _you_ don't treat me differently just because of this stupid scar… just because I'm the Boy-Who-fucking-Lived!" He laughed sardonically. "And- I'm anything but spoiled…"

Severus smiled. "I'm truly happy to hear that. However, I find it hard to believe that you are not treated like royalty in your own home."

"You shouldn't. You made the potion," Harry said.

"Right… so, how _are_ you treated, if not like a prince?" Severus asked.

"I lived in a damn cupboard until I was 11. I'm rarely fed and I do every bit of housework. The only clothes I own that aren't hand-me-downs from their whale of a son, my cousin, are the few outfits I bought myself and my school uniform. They tell me on a regular basis how much they detest me and how much of a nuisance I am," Harry said, "And this summer… I can't remember… I've been taking a potion because of this summer…"

"What did you take?" Severus asked, narrowing his eyes.

"A Memory Suppression potion," Harry replied, flinching at the words. _'Please don't ask me anymore…'_

"What exactly do you feel you need to suppress?"

"This summer…" Harry started, "Sir, please- you're going to reverse the effects if you press the subject any more."

"I know very well what I am doing," Severus said coldly, "Whatever it is that you're running from, it can't be nearly as bad as you make it seem. So, I'll ask you again. _What are you trying to suppress_?"

"This summer… my uncle, he…" Harry swallowed hard, trying to wrestle the memories back, "He- beat me… worse than other summers- much worse… and he- abused me."

Severus couldn't hide his shock. "_How_ did he abuse you?"

'_No!'_ "He- touched me… and he made me- do things… and he…" he choked on a sob as tears began falling gracefully down his cheeks, his body shaking with the sudden return of two months worth of painful memories, "He- raped me… repeatedly…" He turned his face away, unable to face his Potions Master.

Severus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I thought Moody was training you this summer?"

"He was- during the day. You know Moody. He'd keep me until midnight, one o'clock," Harry said, obviously still fighting the memories, "My uncle would be waiting for me when I got home…"

"Why didn't you ever tell anybody?" Severus said, sounding exhausted.

"I don't want any pity," Harry snapped, (as much as one _can_ snap while fighting a complete emotional breakdown), "It was my own fault anyway, for being weak."

"How can you say that?" Severus gasped in astonishment. Weak? That was one word that would never be associated with Harry Potter.

"I had a wand. I could have easily killed him," Harry said, leaning against a desk for support, "But I never did. I kept thinking of his wife and kid… how they depended on him. In his mind, Vernon was only ensuring his family's safety by keeping the 'dangerous freak' under control. That was a _weak_ way to think. I shouldn't have allowed myself to be overpowered by some muggle. I should have killed him! Damn it…" He was crying even harder now.

"That wasn't weakness. That was compassion," Severus said, "He is obviously insane. However, you still should have told somebody so they could get you out of there."

"I _told_ you, I don't want their pity. Besides, Dumbledore always insisted that I was safe there. He was right. I _was_ safe from Voldemort and his followers," Harry said, "He just never thought about whether I would be safe from my own family." He chuckled scathingly. "You have no idea how relieved I was when my clock said that it was officially my seventeenth birthday." He walked across the room, needing to put more distance between himself and those dark, knowing eyes. "I apparated away immediately, found Pettigrew, and killed him. Then… you know the rest- even if I don't."

Severus looked at the trembling shell of a boy- though he could hardly be called a boy after all that he'd been through- and sighed again. "Come with me."

"Why?" Harry asked.

"Because I told you to," Severus replied simply, leading his through a door at the back of the room. They went down a flight of winding stairs until they reached another door. Severus muttered something and the door swung open to reveal a very welcoming living room with a long burgundy sofa and two huge plush armchairs in the same color, sitting in front of a roaring hearth. The entire room was done in burgundy and a soft charcoal black, including the large, beautifully patterned area rug that covered almost the entire expanse of the room. "Well, com in. Don't just stand there, gawking."

"Right… sorry," Harry said. In his awe of the room, his memories had been discarded for the moment. He sat down of the sofa where Severus motioned.

"Just a moment," Severus said, leaving the room. When he came back, he was carrying what looked like a large, wooden wash-basin. However, Harry knew it to be his Pensieve.

"What are you doing with _that_?" Harry asked fearfully, remembering his not-so-pleasant encounter with the object.

He set it down in front of Harry on a small table that he conjured. "The last memory may help you to remember."

Harry fell forward into the memory and when he returned, Severus was sipping tea, watching his curiously.

"I- remember," Harry said, sighing, "It would have been better if I'd gone down _with _Voldemort…"

"Is that so?" Severus said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes. My destiny was to destroy him," Harry said, "Now that I've served my purpose, what's left for me to do?"

"I thought that you wanted to become an auror," Severus said.

"I _did_, but- not anymore," Harry replied, "I'm done fighting. I don't want to do it anymore. I'd actually like to… never mind."

"What?"

"Nothing. It was a stupid idea…" Harry said.

"I will be the judge of that. Spit it out," Severus said.

"I'd actually- like to be a Healer," Harry said quietly, searching his professor's face for skepticism or disapproval.

"I find nothing about that wish stupid. You _would_ need extra tutoring in Potions," he said, 'And you should speak to Poppy an apprenticeship of some kind. She is one of the top Healers."

A true smile lit Harry's face for the first time since before Dumbledore's death. He _had_ smiled, of course, and laughed, yes, but none of the emotion had ever reached his eyes… until now. "Would you be willing to train me?"

Severus chuckled. "Of course. Who else would take up such a hopeless case?"

Harry grinned. "You just wait. I'll show you hopeless."

"I'm sure you will," Severus said, smirking.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Smart ass…" he mumbled.

"What was that?" Severus asked.

"Smart ass," Harry said, "Shit! I forgot about the Veritaserum."

Severus laughed and the sound of it sent shivers down Harry's spine.

"Are you cold?" Severus asked.

"No…" Harry said, blushing.

Severus raised an eyebrow at him. "I have one more question."

Harry swallowed air. "Yeah?"

"If you and Draco weren't fighting when I came upon you, what _were_ you doing?" he asked.

"Blaise and I were talking and Draco was trying not to listen," Harry said.

"Judging from what Draco said, I assume that the topic of discussion had turned to me?"

"Yes," Harry said. _'Please don't ask what was said… one question, remember?'_

Severus smirked. "And what, exactly, was said about me?"

Harry shook his head, resisting the potion as much as he could.

"Answer the question," Severus growled, "Come now, I enjoy a good joke just as much as the next professor. Answer."

Harry blushed. "Well- erm…" _'Might as well just get this over with…'_ "Blaise asked what I had been thinking about when I crashed into them and I said that one of them was you. Then Draco asked if I fancied or something and I said yes. Blaise asked what I like most about you and, even though you're brave and smart and handsome and all that, I _had_ to say your voice. So, Blaise agreed and we decided that your voice was like dark chocolate, because it's so rich and strong and smooth. Then Draco freaked out and you showed up." As he explained this, Harry's face grew redder with each statement that he was forced to repeat.

Severus stared at him in the most blatant display of shock that Harry had ever seen.

"So… if that's all, I guess I'll just be going," Harry said, moving to leave.

"Sit down," Severus said sternly, "I think we need to talk."

'_Great… nothing good **ever** comes from those words.'_

XXXsnarryXXX

So, yeah, that was MUCH longer… lol. I hope you liked it. I'm sorry if it seems like Harry's just kind of like "I woke up and now I love you. Let's shag!" but I promise, it won't be one of those… unless you want it to be… tee hee. It'll all be explained in due time. Well! I'll be seeing you! PoD11


	5. VERY IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE

**!!!VERY IMPORTANT!!!**

**Alright. I'm sure you're all going to be very upset, but I've decided to discontinue this story… I'M SORRY!!!!!!! I've just lost all inspiration to write het. Sad, but true. **

**However, you should be happy to know that I still quite enjoy reading it! Therefore, I've decided to pass the torch along to somebody else. That's right. I'm giving my story away. Lol. **

**If you would like to take over this story, please leave a review with your e-mail address. It'll be kind of like a contest. I don't believe in first-come, first-serve, so I'll be looking at things like; how many stories you've already got published, how many of those are works in progress (trust me, it's NOT a good idea to start spreading yourself too thin), what your writing style is like, your basic knowledge of the Harry Potter **_**books**_**, and… well, how much you'd like to take over.**

**Whomever I chose to pass this story onto will be given COMPLETE creative license to alter the chapters I've already posted and take the story in whatever direction he/she wishes. I will also let you know that this is NOT the only story I'm passing on.**

**The list is as follows:**

"**Bound in Darkness"- a Severus/Hermione **_**Marriage Law**_** fanfiction**

"**Healing"- an Inu Yasha fanfiction, Kagome/Sesshomaru**

"**In Love with the Devil"- a Hermione/Draco fanfiction**

"**Memories"- a Snarry fanfiction **

"**Twisted Fate"- another Severus/Hermione fanfiction**

**I only ask that you keep the pairing as it is. You may change whatever side pairings you like, change the time-frame, whatever! You may be wondering why "Loving Hate", "Moving On", and "Pen Pals" are not on the list. This is because… well, they're kind of like my babies. LH and MO have so many chapters already and are too of my most well-written and well-though out stories, so I just can't give them up. And I have Pen Pals already written on paper. I just have to find that ever-elusive binder! (I know it's here **_**somewhere**_

**SO! Like I said, if you're interested in taking a story, leave a review WITH THAT STORY and I'll let you know within the next week. That's how long this is open. ONE WEEK. **

**When I choose an author, I will post an author's note on each story informing the readers of who they need to look for in order to read the new and continued version of the story!**

**P.S. If anybody finds somebody who is posting my stories of their own volition, without my permission, please let me know. My e-mail is And if **_**I**_** find anybody who is doing this- and I **_**WILL**_** be checking- I will immediately report them. **

**Thank you all so much for your continued praise and support and I hope to hear from all of you hopeful new authors and fanfiction alumni!**

**Sincerely,**

**PrincessofDarkness11  
**


End file.
